How early life experiences shape our present?

Early life experiences, particularly childhood trauma such as criticism, neglect, abandonment, rejection, bullying, or abuse, can lead people to develop coping mechanisms centred on seeking external validation and approval.

People may learn to inhibit their own emotions and needs while prioritising the needs and expectations of others, believing that conforming to external standards is the key to acceptance and safety.

Maladaptive schemas can take root, including fear of rejection, defectiveness or shame, unrelenting standards, co-dependency, subjugation, and self-sacrifice. Beneath these schemas, the internalised inner critic can perpetuate patterns such as people-pleasing, approval seeking, social avoidance, and high standards.

The impact on mental health can be profound. People trapped in these patterns may struggle with low self-esteem, chronic anxiety, diminished self-worth, relationship difficulties, stress, depression, or anxiety.

Breaking free often involves self-discovery, addressing underlying schemas, developing self-compassion, healing the traumatised inner child, and building healthier and more authentic relationships.